Just Me, My Dignity
by Tabula Rah-Suh
Summary: Pezberry! Something tears Santana and Rachel apart... They vow to never speak to one another, but something unusual brings them together. There's drama, humor, and angst. You'll laugh, you'll cry... Eventually you'll choose a side.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I don't own the Glee...

Santana Lopez was sitting on a large overstuffed white couch leaning over a mahogany coffee table reading over a contract of a high-profile celebrity client her lawyer had sent while waiting for her 1:00 meeting. She would be meeting with Regina Lawson and Melissa Stinger, publicist and assistant, respectively, of another high-profile celebrity. She glanced at her watch, it was 12:01. After reading over the last paragraph and making notes, she slid the sheets of paper into a folder. Her assistant Cara knocks on her door and enters.

"Ms. Lopez." Cara walks over and sits on Santana's desk.

"Ms. Brandt." Santana says smiling standing up walking over to position herself between Cara's legs. It was her favorite place to be—inserted between Cara's thighs. Santana gently kissed her lips—enjoying her favorite flavor, Cara.

"Babe, we can't start this right now you have a meeting in an hour." Santana looked over at the clock on her wall. "C, that's plenty of time." Santana placed another gentle kiss on her lips which quickly intensified. The kiss was laden with passion. Santana didn't hesitate to hitch Cara's skirt higher. She found that the younger woman wasn't wearing any underwear which immediately ignited her center. Santana skimmed her fingers up and down Cara's thighs. She finally made her way to Cara's warm wet center. Cara moaned at the contact. Almost forgetting why she was in her girlfriend's office she gently pushed Santana away and led her to the couch. "I came in here to help you relax a bit before your meeting." Cara said as she gently pulling Santana's pants off, unbuttoning her shirt and gently placing them on the arm of the couch. Santana didn't protest, Cara always knew what she needed. Santana looked down at Cara—she was perfect: her hazel eyes, full lips, and creamy caramel skin. Cara stood, placed her palm under Santana's chin and walked over to the closet and retrieved the message table—she quickly set it up.

"Come here babe, lay down." Cara patted the massage table, Santana quickly obliged. Santana lay down to get comfortable. Cara grazed her finger tips up and down Santana's back. Santana's body reacted to each stroke.

"How am I supposed to relax when every time you touch me I feel flashes of electricity?" Cara laughed and bent over and pressed her lips to Santana's ear, "San, just relax. Breathe baby." As Cara applied somewhat gentle pressure to Santana's back, she relaxed. Santana was lost in Cara's touch.

Thirty minutes later Santana was brought back to reality by a gently nip of her ear. Santana pushed herself up from the massage table sitting upright, she pulled Cara in for a deep kiss.

"Baby, that was amazing, I really needed that."

"That's what I'm here for." Cara said running a hand through Santana's hair. Santana winced at this comment.

Cara placed a chaste kiss on Santana's lips. "Get dressed. I'll bring you some green tea and let you know when your 1:00 arrives."

Fifteen minutes later Santana was dressed and light makeup reapplied. Cara returned with green tea. She folded the massage table and put it back in the closet. Cara walked over to Santana and gently squeezed her hand before leaving her office.

At 12:55 Cara called Santana to let her know that her appointment arrived. Santana's door opens, Cara is followed by a tall well-dressed African-American women. "Ms. Lopez, Regina Lawson." She extends her hand to Santana which she accepts. "My apologies, my client and her assistant won't be joining us today." Santana scowls. She had much more important things than take on a Hollywood starlet who is too busy to show up to a last minute meeting that she is doing as a favor for a friend. What annoyed Santana more was that she had no idea who this potential client was—a fact that she did not like. But as a favor for a friend she decided to at least meet with this anonymous person. Santana motioned for Regina to take a seat. She winked at Cara as she closed the door behind her. Regina looks back at Cara wondering why she looks so familiar. She quickly disregards the idea and gets to business.

"As you know, Ms. Lopez, my client is very high-profile celebrity, so I'll need you and your secretary—"

"Assistant." Santana says correcting Regina.

"Excuse me, Ms. Lopez, your assistant, to sign agreements of confidentiality."

"Of course."

"Ms. Berry has recently purchased five acres of land in Lima, Ohio and—"

Santana's heart skipped a beat. "_Ms. Berry. Lima, Ohio_. As in Rachel Berry from Lima, Ohio?"

"Yes. Ms. Lopez. Are you a fan of Ms. Berry's?

_I am absolutely not a fan of Rachel Berry's. In fact, I am the president of the "Rachel Berry is a heartless, selfish Bitch fan club._ Santana thought to herself.

"Actually, Ms. Lawson, I will not be able to take on Rachel Berry as a client."

"I beg your pardon, Ms. Lopez?"

"I understand that you may be taken aback by my decision, but SanLo Designs will not be able to accommodate Ms. Berry. Thank you for your time Ms. Lawson." At that Santana stood and opened the door for Ms. Lawson to leave.

Baffled at the abrupt decision Regina decided not to push Santana. _Boy was there hell to pay_. "I hope you will reconsider Ms. Lopez." Regina said as she headed to the door to exit the suit she said a friendly goodbye to Cara.

Santana turned away from Cara and walked into her office and sat on the overly comfortable couch. Cara gave her a few minutes before she returned to Santana's office. Very seldom did Santana turn down a client especially because her services were rendered by referral.

"Babe, are you all right?"

"We need to talk."

"Yeah. I'm kind of wondering why Ms. Lawson left so abruptly."

"Not really about that."

"Are you still upset that I'm leaving? Because San, it'll only be for a—"

"Sweetie, no, it's not that." Santana massaged her forehead trying to figure out how to disclose such information with the woman she cared for so deeply. Santana exhaled a deep breath. "My son." Cara sat down on the couch next to Santana and held her hand. She looked into Santana's eyes—they were welled with tears.

Cara found out that Santana had a son once they started dating. She was invited for dinner and Cara saw the picture of the little boy. Santana never really talked with Cara about the death of her son. Cara didn't push.

Santana pulled herself together. Though she missed her little boy dearly, she had to hold off on the emotions.

"San, what is it?"

"Rachel Berry."

"Rachel Berry? The actress?"

"Yes." Santana said without a beat.

"What about her?"

"She was Robert's mother."


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Again, this is my first fanfic. I am super excited about it. I know where I'd like this story to go, but if you have any suggestions… suggest away! : )**

**DEDICATED TO: OTHangels, w1cked, tinapwet, silvrd21, Brittanyismyunicorn, kyw0202**

**PAIRING: Santana/Rachel, Santana/OC**

**D****isclaimer****: I don't own Glee… **

Cara immediately let go of Santana's hand. Hurt and confusion apparent, she didn't know what to say. So many questions ran through her mind. She had a strange feeling that everything was about to change. An uncomfortable silence lingered. After a moment Cara finally said, "We've been _officially_ together for a year and a half and I've been your assistant for three years. And you waited until now to tell me." It was definitely more of a statement than a question.

Santana didn't say anything. What more could she say to this woman who was so loving and understanding. Santana watched Cara. Cara was the best thing to happen to her in such a small window of time. Cara was everything Santana could want in a woman. She is kind, patient, intelligent, and absolutely beautiful.

**About three years ago…**

Santana had been in Philadelphia working out at the Bellevue Sporting Club with her best friend and NFL superstar, wide receiver, Noah Puckerman. "Come on Puck, I know you can lift more than that." Santana teased as she spotted Puck bench pressing 225 lbs. (approx. 115.67 kg).

"Lopez, I can essentially lift two of you. So watch it."

Santana laughed. She missed her friend. Between getting her firm off the ground and Puck recovering from an injury during the off-season they hardly spent any time together, so when Puck invited Santana to the "City Of Brotherly Love" for an extended weekend she didn't hesitate to take him up on his offer. Santana appreciated Philadelphia; it was a nice bridge between Lima and NYC. It's severely understated and devastatingly misunderstood.

"Hey are you still looking for an assistant?" Puck asked as he lifted himself up from his place under the bar.

"Yes. Why? Are you going to give up your homoerotic dream position as a wide receiver to make Starbucks runs and do my laundry?"

Puck glared at Santana. "Ha-ha. Very funny. Actually a good friend of mine just graduated from NYU and is looking for a job."

"Puck, first, I don't know about your _friends_… and how is it that you have a "very good friend" graduating from NYU? I thought we had that conversation about you leaving the undergrads alone and boinking guys _your_ own age?"

Puck glared at Santana again.

"Lopez, I don't boink, as you say undergrads from NYU… I heeded your suggestion. Which is why I only deal with guys from Penn and Princeton." Puck said smugly.

Santana swatted Puck on his left arm.

"That aside Lopez, _she_ is definitely not my type."

"Wha-I thought I was the only woman in your life."

"You're gonna have to learn how to share Lopez."

"Anyway. Tell me more about this girl."

"She's so nice and super smart. Driven. A bit conceited, but she's a good girl."

"So what you're saying is that she is a socially promiscuous, spoiled brat who needs a job so that she can declare her independence from her overzealous parents?"

"Riiight." Puck said not sure how to respond. Puck loved Santana dearly, but some time felt she cared too much about aesthetics. _No wonder she's an architect/interior designer obsessed with aesthetics._ Puck thought to himself.

"Have the kid send me her resume."

"Will do. She's out of the country right now, but she'll be back by the time your office is finished."

"Ok. Let me know. I'll keep the position open in the meantime."

_**Two months later…**_

"Let's go Lo, you look fine." Quinn said sitting on Santana's bed of her Chelsea apartment.

"Fine Q?" Santana says as she looks at herself in the mirror for what seemed like the 28th time. "I look hot."

"Fine. You look hot. Now let's go." Quinn said as she gently pulled Santana through her bedroom and out of the apartment.

Santana relented. Twenty minutes later they were outside of one of New York City's premier lesbian clubs. As they walked inside of the club Santana stopped in her steps. She laid eyes on one of the most beautiful women she had ever seen in her life. They immediately locked eyes. A surge of electricity coursed through Santana's body. There was no way that she had felt that alone. It was way too strong for one source to hold so much power.

Santana's reverie didn't last much longer as Quinn pulled her arm and over to bar opposite the dance floor. "Q, what the hell?" Santana said as she jerked from Quinn's grasp. "Oh, come on Lo you totally look like someone set your star alight. I can see the shine emitting from you. You all right lite-brite?" Quinn looked over to Santana's previous line of vision. _Damn. _Quinn thought. The woman was flawless. "Some effect she's having on Lo." She said to herself. "I haven't seen her this bright since…" Quinn interrupted her own thoughts. She couldn't even mention her name. The thought of what happened few years ago still makes her ache for her friend's loss.

"Q. Snap out of it let's dance."

"You want to dance with me or with her?"

"Um… you. Let's go."

Santana and Quinn had a good night. Santana drank much more than they probably should have. For some reason Santana had the giggles. To her everything was funny. The onlooker appreciated the adorable giggles that were accompanied by a beautiful smile. She walked over to the beautiful twosome. "Hello." She said. Santana's giggles immediately stopped. She looked at the woman and continued to giggled. The woman thought it was the most melodious giggle she had ever heard. "I'm C.B." she extended her hand to Santana. Santana stopped giggling. She looked at the women's hand ignored it and pulled her in for a kiss. The kiss was gentle when it should have been sloppy. It was gentle when it should have been rough. It was almost perfect. Quinn stood there shocked at what her friend had done. Santana had never been so forward, well, at least not since… Quinn pulled herself from her thoughts and gently pulled Santana away from C.B.'s lips.

"I'm so sorry about my friend."

"It's quite all right."

"I'm sorry, but we really should get going."

"Sure." The woman said a little dejected

"717-456-0945."

"Excuse me?"

"Lo's number: 717-456-0945."

"717-456-0945. Got it."

"Have a good night."

"You too."

Monday morning came too quickly and was nearly a disaster for Santana. There were remnants from her Sunday hangover. But she had to pull herself together because she was interviewing for a new assistant. She could kill Quinn for letting drink too much. But since that couldn't happen because she had to prepared for a meeting so she pushed the thought aside and finished off her Americano.

Since SanLo Designs was just starting up Santana's core group consisted of herself, Quinn-her lawyer, a contractor, two construction teams, two interns, and who would be her new assistant. Santana already had contracts four projects and a dozen consults by the time her office was completed, so an assistant was a necessity.

Santana sat at her desk once again reading over Cara Brandt's resume. She was quite impressive. For 23, the young woman had accomplished quite a bit. She had gone to NYU and majored in Architectural Design, minored in Interior Design. She had spent a good portion of the summer building houses in Ecuador, while promoting sustainable living lifestyles using their natural resources in the most effective ways. From her resume, Cara was not the person she assumed her to be—including her friendship with Puck.

There was a knock on the door. It was Jenny, her morning intern. "Santana?" She was on a first name basis with her staff. She could still be feared and respected without having a stick up her ass; besides, Ms. Lopez is her mother.

"Yes, Jenny?"

"Your 10:00 is here."

"Great. Give me five minutes and send her in."

Santana poured herself a glass of water and popped an aspirin. This headache had to go away at some point. She leaned back in her chair for a few minutes with her eyes closed. Before she could relax in her moment there was a knock on the door and she was met with a pair of hazel eyes.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: I'm going to try to update as often as possible. I have so many ideas and I'm just going with them. I am not sure how long this story will be, but it will be pretty lengthy. It's pretty light right now, but as the story continues it will get very emotional. There will be some very dark moments as well as light moments. A little bit of a rollercoaster ride. I want to keep everyone interested. I really want to get inside of these characters and right now I'm barely scratching the surface. I'm attempting to produce a quality story while trying to be thorough. Please bear with me and hopefully you'll enjoy the journey. : )**

**A/N: w1cked, I have some amazing ideas for Pezberry's past. As far as their son, I want that to be perfect because it's such a large part of the story, so I'm taking my time with that. I'm not sure at which point I'll introduce that part of the story… it should be within a few chapters. Thanks so much for your support! : )**

**DEDICATED TO: Pezberry2smith and Pezberryfan88**

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own Glee…**

**Rachel's POV**

Rachel is in a meeting with a few network executives when she gets a call from Regina. She immediately ignores it. _Why the hell is Regina calling me? This had better be disastrously important for her to call me when I'm in such an important meeting. Well, she wouldn't call unless it was… still, if is not my standard of important she will be fired. No not really. She is the best publicist I've ever had. And she went to meet the architect to see if the firm would work on my multi-project proposal. She is amazing; she tends to do things that are not a part of her job description. I'll just call her after. _Rachel returns her attention to the meeting. She looks over to Michael Wright. He currently has the stage. He is a pompous ass if there ever was one. If it wasn't for Jackson she would not have even agreed to sit in on this pitch meeting about her possibly starring in a prime-time rom-com. _Michael is such an ass. I can practically see the glue reinforcing his $6,000 toupee. Seriously who spends that kind of money on chicken feathers? His hair is so greasy; just like him. I am willing to bet my next Tony that he pulled feathers from those innocent little chickens, then cut them up and glued them to his hair. He probably used all the grease from his hair to deep fry their delicate little bodies. What an ass. From what I've heard he also treats his staff that way. He's so vile. Even his voice is greasy. I think I just threw up in my mouth a little bit. I wish he would just shut the hell up._ "Rachel, would that be all right with you?" Michael asks. Eww greasy. "I beg your pardon?" Rachel asks as she comes to.

"Would it be all right if we schedule you for a preliminary chemistry test with Victor Isles and Jamie Bright?"

"Sure."

"Perfect. Our people will be in touch." _Thank Yahweh. _

"Absolutely." Rachel says as she stands up from her seat at the very large conference table. Rachel walks out of the conference room and is followed by Melissa.

"Rach, Gina called."

"I got her call. She knows that the only reason she calls me during a meeting is if there is something that requires me to leave a very important meeting just to answer her call. Now, is the reason she called of utter importance?"

"Yes and no. Both for the same reason/"

"Elaborate."

"The architectural firm refuses to take you on as a client."

"Excuse me?"

"Yeah."

"Well, does the firm know who I am?"

"Yes."

"Was what I asked for too much for them to take on?"

"I am not sure. Gina began to layout your project ideas when the owner of the company merely refused to let her continue. She was pretty much kicked out of her office."

"What?"

Mel just stood there. It was very seldom that Rachel Berry was denied anything. Actually she was never denied anything. There was hell to pay. And Rachel Berry is Satan incarnate when things don't go her way. Her face is red; there is fire in her eyes, and steam practically coming from her ears.

"Let's go." Rachel said seemingly collected with a smile on her face.

_Thank god. _Mel thought. "Good Rach, let's just go and we can get you a nice massage at the spy."

"What? No. We're going to pay SanLo Designs a visit."

"Oh goodness." Mel said under her breath

"Come again?"

"Nothing Ms. Berry." Mel said as she walked over to the car and opened the passenger door. Sometimes Rachel opted for Mel to drive to alleviate attention. It also provided a sense of normalcy she attempted to achieve.

Who would have thought that Rachel Berry of all people avoided attention?

_This will not end well. _Mel thought to herself.

Rachel was looking out of the car window. She enjoyed New York City from the passenger side. She wasn't constricted by tinted windows during the drive or a flash mob of paparazzi as she exited the vehicle at her destination. This is why she appreciated Gina and Mel, they made her life as relaxing as possible given her celebrity status. But right now she wasn't relaxed. She was heated more so, she wanted her dream house constructed in her hometown and SanLo Designs had come highly recommended from her very close friend, William Haines. The only issues she had with New York City and driving are: street congestion and parking. But because this firm was located in NoHo, parking would be easy to find. However, Rachel did not want to waste time searching for parking so she insisted that Mel drop her off in front of the building and she'd be on her way.

The building was wedged in between a row of buildings of equal size. The doors were all made of glass. It looked very modern from the outside. As she entered Rachel noticed that the entrance was bare, white, very pristine and modern; all that was there was a single door. There was no handle on the door, to the right of the door on the wall there was a small monitor and a single button. She pressed the button. There was no response. She pressed it a second time, still, no respond. After she pressed a third time her patience was waning. She flipped open her phone and called Gina to get the number of the person she had met with earlier this afternoon. Rachel was highly annoyed. She had a busy schedule and did not have time to convince an architect that she would be well worth the business she brought. She was also annoyed because this is what she paid people to do, take care of meetings. All she had to do was check out the space, give her very specific requests, complain about what they were doing wrong, make them fix whatever they did wrong, sign the papers, the checks and move on. But here she was waiting and wasting time. How could this firm be so successful with services available by referral if they are this inconsistent and rude?

"Hello." She jumped at the voice that emitted from the intercom.

"Rachel Berry here."

"R-rachel B-berry?"

"Yes." There was a monitor with a video of her face of course whomever was on the other side could see that she was Rachel Berry. Or was she?

"Do you have an appointment?"

"Excuse me?"

"_Is that Rachel Berry? That is Rachel Berry. You idiot. Buzz her in."_ Rachel heard someone say.

"My apologies Ms. Berry, please come in."

The door slide open and was welcomed by a gorgeous space. Very sleek and clean. Everything was orderly and particular. Something about this place seemed so familiar.

**A/N: I'm still trying to get comfortable with writing. It has been a while since I've written non-fiction. My story isn't Beta'd. I've been editing it myself. **

**A/N: Again, I know where I'm going with this story, but I am open to suggestions. : )**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Hello beautiful people! My apologies for the delay—I have been incredibly busy. I finally have some free time… Yay! I'm currently sitting at an Amtrak Station in Virginia…waiting… and the view is amazing. I'm watching cars and 18-wheeler trucks roll by and I am inspired. I feel like writing….**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Glee… **

Santana reached for Cara's hand.

Cara immediately pulled away. "No. Don't touch me. After three years you didn't know how to tell me that you had a family with _Rachel Berry_."

Santana sat there. She didn't really know what to say. How could she possibly tell the woman she is so sure she's is in love with about something that pained her so much? Not that she wanted to keep it from her, but she still felt so guilty. After six years she was still coping with the loss of her son. His mother more or less had been another. She had shut off that part of her life and hadn't even allowed herself to retrieve those memories. Maybe it wasn't healthy, but she had thrown herself into her work that she thought she had escaped.

"San, I love you so much. I have been nothing but honest with you. I have let you in my life in ways that I never let anyone. I thought you loved me enough to share yourself with me, completely. You keeping this from me makes me question so much about our relationship."

"I-I. Cara… I'm sorry." Sorry was not a word Santana used often.

"Sorry?" Cara knew this wasn't a word Santana used often, but she couldn't dismiss that she had left so much out of their relationship. It wasn't that Santana had a family with Rachel Berry; it was mostly that she had waited so long to tell her. If she wasn't leaving next week, it would make her feel more at ease. Her seemingly perfect relationship suddenly felt like a lie. This was not a good way to leave for eight months. This new information definitely was not a good way to spend their last week together.

How would she be able to trust Santana with the distance and time if she feels so overwhelmed? "You're sorry? San, how can you possibly keep this from me all this time and then tell me you're sorry? Does your "sorry" make you feel better?"

It's not that Cara doesn't trust Santana it's just that she simply didn't tell her.

Santana looked down at her hands. The HBIC had melted into a puddle of goo. Cara had the power to make her feel as strong as a glacier and now as weak as a puddle of mud. She had lied to Cara, and it wasn't intentional.

Before Santana had a chance to reply, Cara was on her way out of the door. Santana immediately followed. Santana gently grabbed Cara's arm. "Don't leave." Santana said, but it was more of a plea—a plea for her to stay and try to explain. But what could she possibly say?

"I'm not _leaving_. I need some air." Cara looked down at Santana's hand on her arm. Santana recognized their position and let go. Santana moved out of Cara's way. She knew that Cara needed a breather from her recent discovery.

# # # #

"I apologize for the inconvenience Ms. Berry."

"Yeah. I bet you are." Rachel didn't have time for apologies. The longer she stood here looking at this pathetically apologetic girl was more of more a waste of her time. "Get me your boss, now." Rachel said uninterestedly.

"Yes Ms. Berry. Right away." Logan scurried along to retrieve Santana for Ms. Berry.

# # # #

Just as Cara walked out of the room and she saw Logan walking towards Santana's office. "Logan, slow down. Why are you running?"

"I n-need to talk to Santana."

"Well, what's going on?"

"T-there's someone here t-to s-see her."

Santana's door was still open; she could hear the fear in Logan's voice. "Logan, what's going on out here?"

"Ms. Lopez th—"

"Santana." Santana said correcting Logan. What? She's a cool boss.

"I'm sorry Ms. Lopez. S-santana…Ms.—"

"What?" Santana was beyond annoyed.

# # # #

"I have been waiting here for three minutes and I don't have time for this…"

"Jenni."

"Ok. Whatever. Listen Jessie, get your boss out here this instance."

# # # #

Cara moves to walk away.

"Where are you going?" Santana asks ignoring her question to Logan.

"I'm going home."

Santana turns to Logan. "Give me a minute."

"But Santana—"

"Logan, whatever it is, I will deal with it momentarily."

Jenni heard this and stood at the end of the hall. She couldn't approach Santana, but she couldn't quite return to Ms. Berry without Santana. So, she lingered for a few minutes—scared shitless of the consequence.

Logan walked away from Santana and Cara toward the reception area.

"Are you coming back in today or…"

"Baby, I really have to finish packing and I need to think. I'll see you when you get home."

Santana closes the space between her and Cara. "You're my whole world C. I never want to lose you. I can't lose what we have; not right now, not ever. Not when you're leaving." Santana grabbed Cara's hand held it tight and moved in to place a chaste kiss on Cara's lip.

Cara moved her hand up to Santana's cheek and deepened the kiss. "You're not going to lose me. I'm sure as hell not going to lose you. If we can deal with my family and new job, we can deal with anything."

The two women walked down the hall hand-in-hand. Santana never wanted to let go.

# # #

**Rachel's POV**

_I really feel like I'm being tested. Why is no one listening to me? This shit simply will not fly. All I require is simple compliance. Is that too much to ask for? I just want my house built and my brownstone renovated. This firm is the best. I want the best. I want a place where I can get away and relax. God, I miss Lima. _Rachel thought to herself as she impatiently waited for Jessie and the other one to return.

Rachel walked around the reception area taking in the art work that hung for the walls. She wandered taking in its beauty. It was so spacious yet so full. In a word it was, _perfect_.

She stopped at a particular painting. It was so incredible. It almost looked like a portrait. A glass house sat on a beach—it was perfect. She could almost see through the windows. She could almost see each grain of sand. She moved her hand toward the painting. She grazed across the sand. She could almost feel its grainy texture. She was most moved by the woman facing the house. The painting stilled her. It riled so many emotions. She was comforted by the scenery very relaxing, very open. But the woman was out on the beach looking into empty space. She moved closer to inspect the house; she thought she saw another woman and a small child inside.

She immediately felt empty. She briefly thought of her previous life; before the custom housing and multi-million dollar movie deals.

Nonetheless, she loved the space. Whoever designed this space would definitely bring her vision into fruition.

"E-excuse me, Ms. Berry?" I turned to see Thing One said shaking in her K-mart Mary Jane's. I mean really who wears Mary Jane's?

"Emmi…?"

# # # #

Just as Jenni responded Santana and Cara walked into the reception area hand-in-hand.

"M-my boss is coming."

Rachel turned around to see the most beautiful face that could glow from even her most repressed memories.

"Santana?"

**A/N: Story is not beta'd. All errors are on me.**


	5. Chapter 5

Hello everyone!

I thank you all for reading and reviewing "Just me, my dignity". I sincerely apologize for the hiatus. I started a new job that is incredibly demanding and time-consuming. I work incredibly hard and I do not like to start things and not finish them. This holds true for my professional life as well as with my personal life, hobbies, passions, etc. (I don't want to bore anyone). But because of this I have neglected these things a bit—which sucks for me. I still have so many incredible ideas for the story, but I just need some time to sit, collect my thoughts and organize my ideas for a cohesive, enjoyable story.

On or around 12/23, I WILL upload chapter 5.

Thanks so much!

-Lynn


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Thank you beautiful people for your patience! Thanks for all of your reviews, story alerts, favorite alerts, and support. I hope you all will continue this journey with me. I know I've barely scratched the surface with this story, but I can assure you if you stay with me you will be satisfied.**

**A/N: This story will have a nice balance between flashback and present day**

**A/N: I had Rashida Jones (Parks and Rec) in mind when writing Cara**

**A/N: Some Finn bashing**

**Gleek1990: Yes, Rachel is a bitch and I'll explore that. As far as Santana calming her… they have an interesting effect on one another.**

**Ryoko05: Here's the next chapter : )**

**dogsrock7699: Here's **_**some**_** back story for you! ; )**

**KC: I don't mind your "freaking essay". It means a lot that you are so interested in the story. You're in my mind! : ) I'm going to touch on all of those topics and more. You've actually given me a lot to think about… But I don't mind. Thank you! : D**

**Disclaimer: I don't own glee… **

**Enjoy!**

**Santana's POV**

Please tell me I'm dreaming. There is no way in hell that Rachel Berry is standing in front of me. God, she looks beautiful; like a beautiful devil—Satan incarnate. I can't believe my heart is palpitating and my clit is throbbing. There is no way. I want to slap the shit out her and take her across these beautiful wooden floors. Ugh! Wait Cara. What the hell am I thinking? How can I possibly think of her in that way, right now? More than my desire to just have my way with her I am about two seconds from slapping the shit out of her. What the hell is she doing here? My services are strictly by referral. Ugh! I'm going to have to enact a much better screening of potential clients. No more favors.

The woman who nearly stripped me of my entire being is standing in front of me like a deer caught looking in headlights. She seems just as shocked to me as I am to see her. Obviously there's a problem. But I can't bring up anything to ask. I can't very well push this off on Cara. I don't want to deal with this. Just as I am about to lose the woman I love to South America for a year in walks the woman who took everything from me—someone must a playing a really sinister joke on me; I guess I delivered one too many slushy facials and this is my payback in the worst way. Ugh! No. Who am I kidding this karma has transferred from something much deeper than ice and high fructose corn syrup.

What can I possibly say to her?

I have to pull myself together. This is a business matter and Cara and I have plans for tonight.

I extend my hand to Rachel. This is by no means a peace offering. I cannot allow my staff seeing me behaving unprofessionally. Not that I give a flying fuck what they think, but this is still my business and time is most definitely money.

"Ms. Berry."

**# # #**

**Rachel's POV**

If it was all possible Santana has blanched five shades lighter. But she is still just as beautiful as I remember her. The last time I saw her we were at our son's funeral. She didn't even look at me. I tried to reach out to her and she didn't respond—how could I blame her. I essentially took something so precious from the both of us. But to see her here? I need a moment. This is Santana. This very pristine, open space is everything that is her. That photograph on the wall is her. I don't mean her as in her in the photo. It just has this intensity and the familiarity that I had been the very air that I breathed.

I reach for her proffered hand. What else am I supposed to do?

"San. Santana."

I couldn't even question her standing here. She is staring at me. There are so many emotions. I can almost hear the gears in her head grinding. Those chestnut eyes are so dark. So big. Intense and familiar. I could never forget those eyes. The last time I saw them they were void. Dead. They held nothing for me; maybe I saw flashes of anger and contempt. Maybe that was wishful thinking. One part of me wants to crash into her wrap her with my body and cry; the other part of me wants to run. But I can't move. Seven years. Seven _long_ years. I have often imagined what I would say if I ever saw her again, but this is neither the time nor the place. But Santana Lopez, the girl who turned my world upside down; the girl who saved my life, is standing right in front of me.

I was so stupid. I just let her go. I pushed her away. I cannot even remember why. She was everything to me and I seriously just fucked it all up. But I have to forget about that for now. I have work that needs to be done in the worst way.

Santana Lopez. San. Lo. SanLo Designs. It makes so much sense now.

There are definitely things I'd like to say. But what could those things be? Sorry. It was over. It was too late. It's my fault. I should've been there. It was too much for me to handle. I was lost. I was confused. I miss him. I miss you. I miss me. I miss us.

# # # # #

**June 2011-Friday, Summer before Senior Year, Lima, OH**

Santana's POV

It's the annual end of the year party at Puck's and I want nothing more than to get my drink on, but I can't because Brittany and I decided to pregame and she is more than a little bit tipsy. So I am stuck here babysitting. I guess it could be better. Or worse? I'm not too sure. I'm just not in the mood to babysit Britt, again. I could do one of two things: I could take her home or I could let her sleep it off in one of Puck's guest rooms. I've had a bit to drink, so maybe driving her home isn't the best option. Where is Puck when I need him?

Mike and Tina are making out next to me and Britt. I'd enlist his services to help, but I'd be mad as hell if someone took me away from my sweet lady kisses. I'll just ask him to keep an eye on Britt instead.

"Hey Mike." I'm sure he's not paying me any attention because the music is loud and Tina is straddling him. "Mike." Still nothing. "ASIAN FUSION." I yell as I gently pull Tina from Mike's lap. What? I need help.

"Wassup S-santana?"

"Could you please keep an eye on Britt while I go find Puck?"

Mike doesn't look too thrilled. Hey, at least I didn't ask him to leave the comfort of the couch he's getting his mack on on.

"Seriously, Santana?" Tina asks. Do I not look serious or something? Am I suddenly wearing a jester's cap?

"Yes, Chang-Chang. I'll be back in less than 5 minutes."

"Fine, but you owe me."

As I venture off to find Puck he's not in any of his usual places. Which could only mean one thing. He's in the pool house. Puck tells everyone that the pool house is off limits because his parents don't want their private domain blemished. That's total bull if there ever was any. See, Puck uses his pool house only when he has special guests. And because of that I'm guessing he hit it off with that kid from Dalton.

"Hey Santana." I'm completely knocked out of my zone.

"What's up Rach?"

"Not too much. Looking for Finn. Have you seen him at all?"

"No. But I'm looking for Puck maybe I'll run into him on the way."

"Are you enjoying yourself?"

"I'm having an alright time. Britt is passed out on the couch and I need to find Puck so I can take her upstairs."

"Maybe I can help."

"He actually locked all of the doors up stairs and I need the keys. Besides, you shouldn't be doing any heavy lifting you're way too delicate for that."

"San, I'm not that delicate. Well, since there's nothing physically I can do for you; I'll keep an eye on Britt."

"Yeah? Thanks, Berry."

"No worries. You'll owe me." Rachel says as she walks away. Seeing her walk away is one of the best parts of my day.

I'll owe her absolutely anything. If there is one thing that I'll admit without regret it's that I am absolutely crazy about Rachel Berry. She is perfection personified. Of course she's off limits because she just broke up with Finnept. The incompetent loser. But whatevs. I've to find Puck.

I arrive at the pool house and I ring the bell twice and knock three times (let's Puck know that I need something, it's not urgent, but he should get his ass out here). After about a minute he opens the door.

"'Sup San?"

"Puckerman, I need your keys. Britts is passed out and I don't trust myself driving home."

"No prob babe. Come in."

"Rich, you remember my bestie San (bestie? Really Puck?)?" Puck runs into one of the bedrooms to get his keys.

"Of course. Hey San." The tall dark-haired, blue-eyed coxswain says. He is so Puck's type. An over privileged hipster with an affinity for cock. But he's a cool kid.

"'Sup."

Puck returns and walks me to the door. He asks Rich to give him a sec says he'll be right back.

"You talk to Rachel yet?"

"I actually saw her on the way over here. She was looking for Hudson."

"Yeah… That guy… lyingdouche."

"Come again?"

"Kid's a loser."

"There have never been truer words. I mean, he just graduated and he's at our end of the year party. And he's not with Berry. Why isn't he off hanging out with those testosterone-laden meatheads and bimbo cheerleaders he graduated with?"

Puck shrugs.

"Probably trying to pick up chicks. He's an idiot. He and Berry have been broken up barely a week."

"Or maybe he's here to get a little coxswain action. I've always thought he was cocks man."

"Puckerman, not everyone plays for our team."

"You're not on my team. You don't row crew." He's such a smart ass. Pucks winks, we bump fists and he heads back in the pool house.

# # # #

True to her word, Rachel is sitting on the couch next to Britts—who has apparently sobered up. Mike and Tina ventured someplace else.

"Thanks, Rach."

"You're welcome, San."

"Britts, how are you feeling?"

"I'm all right. Where's Lord Tubbington? We were playing beer pong and his aim was off and we lost."

"Britts how about I take you upstairs to lie down?"

"Totally. San, I'm so ready to get our sweet lady kissed on." Britt says as she suddenly falls over onto Rachel's lap.

I kneel down to Britts to make sure she's all right. "Rach, can you watch her for a sec while I get her some water?"

"These favors are adding up."

"They'll all be paid in full."

It's one thing that Puck's house is ginormous. It's quite another that there are so many frickin people in here. It's a feat getting to the kitchen. I expect the kitchen to be cluttered and full of people, but there's no one in here. I grab a bottle of water and head back to Britts and Rach.

"I'm gonna take her upstairs and when I come back you can let me know how I can repay you."

# # # # # #

Britts is incredibly difficult to deal with when she's drunk. Not only because she's so much taller and spindly than me, but because she's so lucid about other people's situations and has word vomit to no end.

"You love Rachel."

"What?" I'm caught completely off guard.

"You love her. I see the way you look at her. You're going to be Mrs. San Berry someday or she's going to be Rachie Lopez. Actually you'll be the Pezberries. Santana and Rachel Pezberry. And you'll have little Pezberries running around, being awesome. They're gonna be bossy and bitchy, but they're going to rule the world. And it'll be awesome. You guys are gonna get into a fight. And you're gonna leave. But San it's not her fault."

Britts' speech is slurred, but I heard everything she's saying so clearly. I'll just chalk this up to one of Britts' drunken moments.

"Alright, Britts how about you drink some of this and we'll talk about this later?"

Brittany doesn't respond. She drinks some water and she lies down.

# # # # #

I walk into the living room and Rachel's still sitting on the couch. She's so beautiful. The most perfect person ever. She kind of took me by surprise when I saw her earlier and she was wearing skinny jeans and ballet flats. I love the way her hair flows and cascades over her shoulders. Her chestnut hair and chocolate eyes do something to me. This girl is amazing.

"Ms. Berry, how can I be of service to you?"

Rachel Blushes and smiles. "Well, Ms. Lopez, how about you take a walk with me over to the fishing pond?"

"Absolutely."

I love the fishing pond. Puck's dad had it put in when we were in middle school. Puck and his dad went fishing often, but cut back once his business expanded. In order to keep little Puck happy he had a small pond put in and stocked it with fish.

Puck's house is absolutely gorgeous. His parent's had a finite plan when they had it renovated. It's such a beautiful work of art. Puck often teases me about how obsessed I am with it. What? It's like perfect. The only thing more perfect than Puck's house, is the woman standing next to me.

"Santana."

"Yes, Ms. Berry?"

"You seem to have zoned out on me."

"I'm sorry about that. This is one of my favorite places."

"Oh, yeah? What about this place makes it so special?"

Right now? You. "It's so peaceful here. It was built out of love and selflessness. And it's beautiful."

"You're beautiful."

I am completely taken aback by Rachel's bluntness. And by the reaction to me I'm sure my facial expression reads nothing less than surprised.

"I'm so sorry."

I can't help but laugh at how adorable she is. She's so small and cute; yet so grand and effervescent. I seriously love this girl.

"Why are you sorry? All you did was recognize a perfect piece of art."

"You're so modest."

"You're so honest."

"Sooo… what are your plans for the summer, San?"

"Going to Puerto Rico for a few weeks, leaving on Sunday. Then I'll probably spend the rest of the summer with Puck and Britts. You, Ms. Berry?"

"Sounds like fun. I've always wanted to go to Puerto Rico. It's so beautiful and so misunderstood."

"Absolutely. Maybe I'll take you some time."

"Maybe." Rachel smiles.

"Back to what you're doing this summer…"

"Ah. What am I doing this summer? Well, as you know Santana, I aspire to be a Broadway phenomenon. So, this on Sunday I'm leaving for a workshop in New York for three weeks. When I return, I will focus on my rigorous vocal lessons and workout regiments for the rest of the summer."

"Sounds awesome. You'll be amazing. You are amazing."

"Thanks San."

# # # #

Rachel and I are sitting on a bench near the pond. The stars in the sky are just so perfect. They complement Rachel's glow. It's starting to get windy, Typical June night. So I offer Rachel my jacket.

"Thanks San."

"You're welcome."

Rachel scoots closer to me and I can't help but smile. She's so tiny. I just want to scoop her up and keep her safe. After a few minutes I'm feeling confident enough to put my arm around her shoulder. She snuggles into me. We enjoy a comfortable silence. Then the most angelic voice brings music to my ears.

"San?"

"Yes?"

"Thank you."

"For…?"

"The other night."

# # # #

**No one's POV**

**Monday Night**

_Santana had just gotten home from a rigorous work out at the sporting club her family belonged to. She just wanted to take a hot shower, listen to Sade and wind down. She walks into the bathroom and decides she wants to take a bath instead, so she turns on the Jacuzzi tub and pours in some bath salts. A much better way to end the night she thinks. She needs this. This is the first time in weeks she has had time to relax. Or so she thought. Just as she was getting comfortable in her bath her cell phone rings. It rings three times and then goes to voicemail—that's what it's for._

_She gets back in her comfort zone. She grabs the remote for her iHome and just as she's about to turn it on her phone rings again. Twice. Before it gets to the third rings she answers._

"_S-san."_

"_Rach?"_

"_Yes." Rachel says as what Santana imagines Rachel crying hysterically on the other end._

"_What's going on Rachel?"_

"_C-can you come over?"_

"_Absolutely."_

"_Stay on the phone until you get here?"_

"_Sure."_

_Santana has never gotten dressed so fast in her entire life. She didn't even drain the Jacuzzi tub. She quickly ran to her car. Before she knew it she was en route to Rachel's place. _

"_Rach?"_

"_Yes?"_

_Twinkle, twinkle, little star,_

_How I wonder what you are._

_Up above the world so high,_

_Like a diamond in the sky._

_Twinkle, twinkle, little star,_

_How I wonder what you are!_

_When the blazing sun is gone,_

_When there's nothing he shines upon,_

_Then you show your little light,_

_Twinkle, twinkle, through the night._

_Twinkle, twinkle, little star,_

_How I wonder what you are!_

_In the dark blue sky so deep_

_Through my curtains often peep_

_For you never close your eyes_

_Til the morning sun does rise_

_Twinkle, twinkle, little star_

_How I wonder what you are_

_Twinkle, twinkle, little star_

_How I wonder what you are_

"_Rach?"_

"_Yes."_

"_Open the door, please?"_

_Santana had made the 12 minutes drives to Rachel's house in 5 minutes. Either she drove really fast dismissing traffic lights or time stood still. Either way, she got to Rachel's place safely and just in time._

_Rachel opened the door. She looked completely disheveled—like she hadn't slept for days. Before Santana could say anything Rachel had crashed herself into Santana. Santana held onto Rachel and never wanted to let her go. _

"_Rach, come one let's go upstairs."_

_Rachel nodded. They began walking through the foyer to the stairs. Santana sensed that Rachel hadn't much strength, so she picked her up and carried her to her bedroom. _

_It had been a while since Santana had been in Rachel's room. It was no longer the pastel pink it had been the summer before sophomore year. The walls were a soft yellow. It was bright and calming. Santana laid Rachel down on her queen sized bed and sat next to her. Rachel cuddled into Santana. _

_They sat for a few minutes in a comfortable silence. Neither girl wanted to move. Santana felt so relaxed laying there with Rachel. Rachel felt safe. _

_Rachel lifted her head from Santana's chest. Santana immediately felt the loss. But warmed her and made up for the loss of contact is when Rachel kissed Santana on her cheek. Within a few minutes Rachel was asleep in Santana's arms. Santana had also dozed off. _

_When Santana awoke she almost forgot where she was until she felt a small body snuggle closer into her own. She looked over to the clock on Rachel's night stand it read 2:13 AM. They had been asleep for five hours. Santana felt so relaxed. A few minutes later she felt Rachel shift in her arms. She looked down and Rachel was looking up at her. Those eyes. _

"_What time is it?"_

"_2:26."_

"_How long have I been asleep?"_

"_We slept for about five hours."_

"_San, I'm s-"_

_Santana knew that Rachel was about to apologize for interrupting her evening. "—shh." Santana said as she kissed Rachel's forehead. _

"_I could use a snack." Rachel said as shifted away from Santana—again, she immediately felt the loss of contact. _

"_Sure. But you don't have to get it. I'll get it for you. What would you like?"_

"_No. come. I'll make myself a bowl of vegan ice cream and you can have whatever you'd like." Rachel said as she reached for Santana's hand. _

_Santana relished the Berry's residence. It was clean and elegant. It screamed of old money. Santana appreciated simple elegance. She especially loved the high ceilings, crystal chandeliers, and vast drapery. _

_Another aspect of the house Santana loved was the kitchen. She felt that a kitchen could never be too big. _

"_San, what would you like?"_

"_I'll have what you're having?"_

"_Cherry-almond vegan ice cream? I always thought you were a fan of dark chocolate ice cream."_

"_Well, never hurts to try."_

"_All right. We can share this pint. I'll grab spoons and napkins and you pick out a movie for us to watch."_

_Santana walked to the theater room to pick out a movie. _

_# # # # #_

_Rachel was getting spoons from the drawer when she started crying again. She thought she was all cried out—apparently she was wrong. The last 24 hours had been a nightmare for her. She just wanted to get over it and not feel so vulnerable and needy. She was happy that Santana had come over and hadn't asked any questions. All she needed was a friend. Not to be questioned or judged. _

"_Rach?" Rachel jumped at the sound of her name. "You've been up here a while and the movie's ready."_

"_Oh yeah?" _

_Santana thought Rachel sounded like she was crying. She wanted to ask if Rachel was ok. But she stopped herself. If Rachel wanted to say something she's say it. When Rachel didn't speak about was going on her with her Santana didn't push._

_They cuddled on the couch, ate cherry-almond vegan ice cream and watched "The Brave Little Toaster."_

**Finally! That was fun! Read and Review. Comments? Criticisms? Questions? Suggestions?**


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